The View From Down Here

Oh, Great Northern Sea,
Your fires... they burn unquenchable.
Why do you call me?

Do you ever listen to a really cool song over and over?

I do, I love it. But it seems to drive most people crazy.

There was a tradition at my school. The first chart played every semester PM stage band was (and is) Birdland. Before any introductions, before any "how was your summer", you pulled the Birdland chart and went to it. Across the top of all the trumpet parts were written the words, "THE PM STAGE BAND WILL ALWAYS PLAY BIRDLAND." Now, there are two ways to look at this statement. On one hand, you have the affirmation, said with great pride, "(This is my identity,) the PM stage band will always play Birdland." On the other, you have a complaint, spoken with remorse, "(Oh, woe is me, for,) the PM stage band will always play Birdland."

I always looked at it the first way, but I had some friends who saw it the other way. Not sure why, I always liked Birdland - it's a great chart - and playing it never got old for me because it sure is a lot of fun. So, I wonder, why did the others tire of the song so? If you asked, you'd find out that they liked playing the song (everyone wanted to be Maynard), they just didn't like playing the song a lot. I'm not sure, but I think that it was a fear of tradition, a fear of the status quo. These fears never made sense to me... I mean, isn't the unknown supposed to be scarier that the known? If we didn't play Birdland we might have to play On Green Dolphin Street, right?

Perhaps you noticed that Cookie Monster did not win the election?

We are all shocked, as we thought he had the monster vote locked-up in his favor.

After much debate, we have determined that the key flaw in Cookie Monster's campaign was a failure to mobilize young voters. Even despite a strong "get out the vote" effort, we discovered that mobilizing the Sesame Street demographic proved harder than we first believed. We think this has to do with this demographic's lack of mobility. Do you know how hard it is to get to the polling place when your only means of transport is a Tonka Big Wheel? This, combined with appallingly early curfews, prevented our key support base from getting out to vote. It is a crime that our young people's voices are being stifled in this manner.

Another flaw identified in the campaign was the failure to present a solid political platform by the candidate himself (we must be honest with ourselves). Cookie Monster had made the promise to the American public of a cookie jar in every household, but kept waffling over whether these jars would be filled with sugar cookies or chocolate chip cookies. This flip-flopping was interpreted by many voters as a sign of weakness in the face of adversity. Furthermore, the fact that Cookie Monster failed to mention Oatmeal Raisin Cookies at all alienated many voters who prefer the more traditional values represented by the Quaker Oats Guy. Finaly, many voters reacted negatively to Cookie Monster's failure to present a plan for how the cookie jars would be distributed and failed to accept his word that he was an expert in all matters involving cookies.

In short, these have been valuable lessons. I trust our future candidates will take them to heart.