Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Failure to connect
Do you remember the best friend you had when you were five years old?
Are you still friends? Why not?
One of our neighbors has a little grandson who is just a bit older than my son. Sometimes, when he stays at his grandparent’s house, they bring him by to play with my son. It’s fascinating to watch the dynamics between these little kids. Neither of them speaks and yet they play together, share toys, and even give each other hugs.
I remember when I was little and used to go to the park and make a new friend in an instant just by playing on the see-saw. A friendship founded in the brevity of “Hi, what’s your name? Let’s go swing!”
I could not make that sort of friend today - no way. I meet new people everyday with whom there is no “let’s swing” connection, nor will there ever be. They are nothing more than distant others – a backdrop to whatever all important, singular task I’m performing at the moment so that I can move on to the next all important, singular task.
It’s a problem of perception, I think. All truth is perception (a flaw of truth) that is filtered by our senses, minds, prejudices, and predisposition to view the world. Even if I were to try to make a friend like I did when I was five, it wouldn’t work. I’d cross someone’s safe boundaries, their definition of space, sense of propriety, or idea of good-sensed behavior. Their filters would block my attempt, and that would be the end of it.
I think this is what happens to kids as they grow up. They try to form that five-year-old connection with adults and fail. Incoming connection filtered out. Eventually, they learn not to try. Their filters form, in turn, and the cycle repeats.
End result, we can’t connect. That’s a shame. Without connection, we will never understand.
Are you still friends? Why not?
One of our neighbors has a little grandson who is just a bit older than my son. Sometimes, when he stays at his grandparent’s house, they bring him by to play with my son. It’s fascinating to watch the dynamics between these little kids. Neither of them speaks and yet they play together, share toys, and even give each other hugs.
I remember when I was little and used to go to the park and make a new friend in an instant just by playing on the see-saw. A friendship founded in the brevity of “Hi, what’s your name? Let’s go swing!”
I could not make that sort of friend today - no way. I meet new people everyday with whom there is no “let’s swing” connection, nor will there ever be. They are nothing more than distant others – a backdrop to whatever all important, singular task I’m performing at the moment so that I can move on to the next all important, singular task.
It’s a problem of perception, I think. All truth is perception (a flaw of truth) that is filtered by our senses, minds, prejudices, and predisposition to view the world. Even if I were to try to make a friend like I did when I was five, it wouldn’t work. I’d cross someone’s safe boundaries, their definition of space, sense of propriety, or idea of good-sensed behavior. Their filters would block my attempt, and that would be the end of it.
I think this is what happens to kids as they grow up. They try to form that five-year-old connection with adults and fail. Incoming connection filtered out. Eventually, they learn not to try. Their filters form, in turn, and the cycle repeats.
End result, we can’t connect. That’s a shame. Without connection, we will never understand.
R.T. Lemur 7:51 AM