Thursday, May 25, 2006
Talking Toilet
(Warning, some crude humor contained herein)
Wouldn’t you be scarred if the toilet suddenly started talking?
I know I would be – especially if I was only 12 months old.
Seriously, while shopping at Babies R’Us today, I discovered that several companies make a baby toilet that talks to your young’un to encourage them to do their business. It makes one wonder, “Where did the parent go?”
More worrisome is exactly who decided what to have the toilet say? It bothers me that somewhere out there a team of highly educated PhDs in Child Psychology performed research to determine the phrases that a toilet should use when speaking to a child. Did they choose the right words? What phrases did they reject?
As my mind wandered over these ponderables, the following came to mind as possible rejects:
“Good grief! That stinks! What on Earth did they feed you? Oh… I see now…”
“Bananas again? Little buddy, they need to change your diet.”
“That’s nasty! You dirty little boy/girl! Nasty, nasty, nasty!”
“Ok, let’s have some fun… aim high this time…”
“Oh, no, not again. Hold it, hold it!”
“A Zen Koan: ‘You must be emptied before you can be filled.’ ”
“Hmm, was that spinach or green beans?”
“You call that a poo, soldier? I’ve seen better s___ on plates in the mess hall!!! Now drop and give me twenty!”
Having had enough of that, I quickly began singing “The Girl from Ipanema”… anything to forget… The Talking Toilet.
Maybe it will work for you too, “Tall and tan and young and lovely, the girl from Ipanema goes walking…”
Wouldn’t you be scarred if the toilet suddenly started talking?
I know I would be – especially if I was only 12 months old.
Seriously, while shopping at Babies R’Us today, I discovered that several companies make a baby toilet that talks to your young’un to encourage them to do their business. It makes one wonder, “Where did the parent go?”
More worrisome is exactly who decided what to have the toilet say? It bothers me that somewhere out there a team of highly educated PhDs in Child Psychology performed research to determine the phrases that a toilet should use when speaking to a child. Did they choose the right words? What phrases did they reject?
As my mind wandered over these ponderables, the following came to mind as possible rejects:
“Good grief! That stinks! What on Earth did they feed you? Oh… I see now…”
“Bananas again? Little buddy, they need to change your diet.”
“That’s nasty! You dirty little boy/girl! Nasty, nasty, nasty!”
“Ok, let’s have some fun… aim high this time…”
“Oh, no, not again. Hold it, hold it!”
“A Zen Koan: ‘You must be emptied before you can be filled.’ ”
“Hmm, was that spinach or green beans?”
“You call that a poo, soldier? I’ve seen better s___ on plates in the mess hall!!! Now drop and give me twenty!”
Having had enough of that, I quickly began singing “The Girl from Ipanema”… anything to forget… The Talking Toilet.
Maybe it will work for you too, “Tall and tan and young and lovely, the girl from Ipanema goes walking…”
R.T. Lemur 2:13 PM
3 Comments:
"Aim high this time"
That's awesome. Especially if they made it like one of those carnival games where you have to spray the water into the hole with dancing lights around it.
That's awesome. Especially if they made it like one of those carnival games where you have to spray the water into the hole with dancing lights around it.
I can totally see that carnival game! Lemur: I think it might have been nice to buy a talking potty.
No, no.
No one - not even a machine - will use a potty mouth around my child.
No one - not even a machine - will use a potty mouth around my child.