Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Baby Boot Camp – Week One
Well, I’ve been here at Baby Boot Camp (or the BBC, as all the old recruits like to call it) for about a week now. Started out like a walk in the park, but then the real trouble began on about day three.
The Drill Sergeant here is a real hard case. Man, can he scream. You gotta jump when he says, or he’ll turn bright red and start yellin’ his head off. Some of the other guys started callin’ him the Angry Strawberry – not to his face, of course! – and that description is dead-on. He screws his face up in a hard core grimace, turns bright red, and starts screamin’ right in your face. Nothin’ you do will shut him up ‘till he’s said his piece.
Lack of sleep is really gettin’ to me now. The Sergeant is not a compassionate guy where my sleep cycles are concerned. Any time he wants, he busts us out of bed to run drills and do patrols. For a while there, I lost track of time, but I think I’m getting used to it now…
So far, I’ve only been assigned to Diaper Duty and Bubble Patrol. Diaper Duty wasn’t so bad at first, you just had to get in quick, get the job done, and get out. Now, though, its gotten harder – and smellier. I think they might be testing some new sort of stink gas or chemical warfare concoction on us poor recruits. I’ve requested a hazmat suit, but the QM says it won’t arrive for quite a while.
Bubble Patrol isn’t too bad either. We march around lookin’ for little pockets of hazardous gas that has to be eliminated. Only trick is, sometimes that gas has too much fluid around it and, well… let’s just say you’ve gotta change your uniform.
I put my name is the hat for Breast Pump Command. Looked like a cush job and I figured that was for me. I didn’t get picked though… the Drill Sergeant told me I didn’t have what it takes to do the job. Whatever.
Well, so far, that’s all for this man’s army.
The Drill Sergeant here is a real hard case. Man, can he scream. You gotta jump when he says, or he’ll turn bright red and start yellin’ his head off. Some of the other guys started callin’ him the Angry Strawberry – not to his face, of course! – and that description is dead-on. He screws his face up in a hard core grimace, turns bright red, and starts screamin’ right in your face. Nothin’ you do will shut him up ‘till he’s said his piece.
Lack of sleep is really gettin’ to me now. The Sergeant is not a compassionate guy where my sleep cycles are concerned. Any time he wants, he busts us out of bed to run drills and do patrols. For a while there, I lost track of time, but I think I’m getting used to it now…
So far, I’ve only been assigned to Diaper Duty and Bubble Patrol. Diaper Duty wasn’t so bad at first, you just had to get in quick, get the job done, and get out. Now, though, its gotten harder – and smellier. I think they might be testing some new sort of stink gas or chemical warfare concoction on us poor recruits. I’ve requested a hazmat suit, but the QM says it won’t arrive for quite a while.
Bubble Patrol isn’t too bad either. We march around lookin’ for little pockets of hazardous gas that has to be eliminated. Only trick is, sometimes that gas has too much fluid around it and, well… let’s just say you’ve gotta change your uniform.
I put my name is the hat for Breast Pump Command. Looked like a cush job and I figured that was for me. I didn’t get picked though… the Drill Sergeant told me I didn’t have what it takes to do the job. Whatever.
Well, so far, that’s all for this man’s army.
R.T. Lemur 8:11 PM